Dear former dormie who now catches the same bus routes as me,
You know, yesterday you really embarrassed me when I waved at you and then pretended to be fixing my hair because you icily ignored my friendly gesture.
I know we weren’t the best of friends when we lived together all those years ago, but we got along okay. Didn’t we? Don’t you think it’s weird where life has brought us? To the same place, well the same bus route at least.
The thing is, I don’t want to sit next to you on the bus either, I just acknowledge you because that’s what two people who lived together for an entire year might do. If you’re worried I want to have an awkaward chat about the old times, you’re wrong.
I don’t want to reminisce about the time several members of our dorm got a stomach bug and I heard you loudly emptying the contents of your bowels and your stomach, sometimes at the same time, for every night for most of a week.
I also don’t want to talk to you about how I heard you giving it to your uptight girlfriend a couple of times.
I probably wouldn’t even bring up the fact that you playing Jack Johnson songs on your guitar over and over made me want to drag a sharp object across my eyeballs.
You might tell me how everyone thought I was little weird because I didn’t like sitting up until 2am every night talking to a bunch of twats about losing my virginity or going to the beach with my girlfriends or why there is always corn in puke.
Or how I really “came out of my shell” after Lip Sync.
Just so you know, I’m not bitter about my whole first year dorm experience at all and I hope you are really happy.
Next time, I’ll just look right through you like it never even happened.
Love,
Steve.