Every year or so, J-man gets a new obsession. One year it was Chris Bath the newsreader, another time it was the White Stripes, then it was cooking pizza from scratch and at the moment it is brewing beer. J-man’s interest in beer has also extended to cooking and spices and flavours and experimenting in the kitchen. Let’s just say I now know so much about yeast, I could turn one bread roll into a thousand loaves and name thineself the messiah.
This whole thing has caused the biggest relationship rift since Kris Humphries pushed Kim Kardashian into the ocean while they holidayed in Bora Bora and she lost one of her $75,000 diamond earrings on the bottom of the ocean and then cried and we all thought it was the end and all the kittens in the world died.
Just two nights ago a discussion about cooking ended with J-man calling my salads “just a bunch of stuff cubed in a bowl” and my vegetarian cooking “boring”. I’m pretty sure he called my face “dead ugly” and then kicked a puppy too. Then all the kittens in the world died. Needless to say, I stormed off to the bedroom and sulked like any 25-year-old woman would do. I mean, c’mon cooking is my thing.
Now that I have recovered, I have to admit J-man has gotten pretty great at cooking. His Indian dishes are amazing, his Thai stuff is even better and he makes a mean schnitzel. He’s so great that I won’t even mention the time he left chicken breasts defrosting on the hot water heater for days. Twice.
But one thing I definitely excel at is cooking treats. So J-man, as Matt Damon once said “How’d you like [these cookies]”
[Note PJ Harvey playing in the background to offset all previous references to women-hating. I love women! They’re so sexy!]