Poor Stevie

Happy nude year

At 12.01am on January 1, 2014, as people outside cheered and turned up music and let off crackers, I was changing a very dirty nappy. One of those up-to-the-ears-all-up-the-back poops, that you cannot believe came from something so beautiful and teensy and precious. It turned out it was an apt way to start a year that was a bit of a shit, if I’m honest.

Usually, I do a year in review by looking back at my diary entries for the year. But reading my diary was far too upsetting and boring, so I thought I would take my sister Julia’s Year in Review questionnaire thingy.

My sister Julia’s Year in Review questionnaire thingy

1.What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

I became a ‘working mother’. I also ate a cronut.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept most of them. We moved out of our horrible hot granny flat in Balmain, I got a haircut, I got out and made some new friends, I am in the process of fixing my pelvis that got f-ed up when a baby passed through it, I read more.

A few of my goals for 2015 are: re-learn how to sew, make a complicated birthday cake for someone, go to the theatre, and make sure I mark special occasions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my sister Mary had the darling Alexandra.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. So, that was nice.

5. What countries did you visit?

Country NSW. That place is the bomb. Wide open spaces, excellent cakes, the best op-shops, old school friends, animals, brilliant melting moments and surprisingly fresh sushi.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

Patience. Sleep. Fashion.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 26. We moved house that day and it was the greatest. July 21. That’s when I went back to work and the girl child went to daycare. August 26. The day we ignored our 10th anniversary. September 21, the day my baby became a toddler.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Going back to work. Making a bad-ass batch of cinnamon scrolls.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Scratching the side of my mum’s car in the Orange City Centre carpark. I will never forget that awful, heart-sinking feeling when I heard the sound of metal and concrete making contact.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I kicked post-natal depression in its teeth. I’m still trying to fix a case of pubis symphysis, which has me hobbling like a pirate. I am wearing a sort of velcroed, elastic, grey girdle belt as I write! Oh,mama!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A car. She’s royal blue and we named her Barbara Bush.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

J-man, for being a boss legend. My sisters and mum and dad, for supporting me during the early months of motherhood. The girl child, for being ever so sweet.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled?

The woman who lost it at a checkout chick in KMart when she found out their selfie sticks were sold out two days before Christmas. And after a year like 2014, so, so many others.

14. Where did most of your money go?

To childcare. And the motor vehicle industry.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Seeing Nine Inch Nails and Queens of the Stone Age. The baby was about six months old, and still not sleeping very well, and I had been feeling pretty flat. I remember coming home after the show and telling J-man that I felt alive again.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?

Nominal, by #1 Dads.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

a) HAPPIER. SO MUCH HAPPIER.

b) Same.

c) Poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Relaxing and being creative. I pretty much never did those things.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Fighting and looking at my phone. I waste so much time on my stupid, fucking phone. Maybe a new year’s resolution should be setting fire to my phone.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Eating. Swimming. Watching an enormous thunderstorm.

21. Did you fall in love in 2014?

No. But I didn’t fall out of love.

22. What was your favourite TV program?

There were so many good ones this year. Orange is the New Black, Veep, True Detective, and Chelsea Peretti’s comedy special on Netflix, One of the Greats.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No. My hate levels remain very critical, but stable

24. What was the best book you read?

This House of Grief, by Helen Garner.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Young Fathers. Palms.

26. What did you want and get?

A baby who occasionally sleeps through the night. A box of Haigh’s truffles. A new house. A lot of time in the country. Some wonderful new friends.

27. What did you want and not get?

A holiday.

28. What was your favourite film of this year?

Ah, man. This is a mean question to ask the mother of a young child. I really liked Gone Girl and was particularly chuffed to have seen Ben Affleck’s man jewels.

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having an interesting job.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Youngish mumish, watermelon print enthusiast.

31. What kept you sane?

Afternoon walks in Rozelle, especially after discovering Bellingen Gelato and their mint-choc-chip. It is spiked with real peppermint essence and is filled with a generous amount of dark chocolate shavings. PUT IT IN MY MOUTH IMMEDIATELY.   

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ira Glass. Justice Lucy McCallum. Justice Geoffrey Bellew.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Ah, man. This year made me mad in my bones. Gender equality. Racial equality. All of the equalities. Climate change. Australia’s treatment of asylum seekers. Changes to the welfare system.

34. Who did you miss?

My mum. 300 kilometres may as well be 30,000 kilometres sometimes.   

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.

I’m still learning how to live in the moment. Not in the idiot-girl-in-your-university-dorm-inspirational-quote kind of way, but I need to just to look around every day, and be content with what I have.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house
And we’ll collect the moments one by one
I guess that’s how the future’s done

How many acres how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

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