Poor Stevie

Archive of ‘family’ category

The best joke of Mary’s wedding day was what the mother of the bride showed up wearing made by Joel.

After the ceremony my aunt Jenny says: Well that all went off without a hitch!
Joel: Yeah, except one big one!

In his handsome manner he managed to sum it up well. Everything was freaking fantastic. The bride was beautiful, the groom’s tie matched the bride’s dress perfectly, the sun was shining, the reception had free wine and beer, the food was amazing and I got semi-sloshed.

But in truth, Mary and Andrew make an amazing couple, they had an amazing wedding and I’m happy to call Drew my broseph

After the deed was done. I thought it was cute that the celebrant had to tell them a few times to move closer because they’d “better get used to it”. See that semi-old dude growing out of Andrew’s head? That’s mah Pa watching every moment – clearly he’s already making sure Andrew’s making good use of  the dowry  we all had to save up  and pay. I think he spent it on a Wii.

This is my mum’s side of the family. Check out my sexy legs. Man, I’m in good shape.

This is my Dave’s side. Note: Julia isn’t there because this side of the family don’t like her.  In fact the reason they’re all laughing is because I just pushed her into the water. My legs look slightly more like a side ofpork here.

Isn’t my mum cute? She made these herself and filled them with sweet sweet candy. It was my idea but do you think I had my name on some kind of gold plaque or anything? Nup, not even a mention in the vows. God!

My mum and dad got all caught up in the moment and mistook the reception for their second honeymoon. The staff at the Woolwich Pier Hotel will never be the same. Neither will the nice set of white platters someone bought the newlyweds as a gift.  Seriously Pops, get a room.

I did have other pictures that had more wedding action than the above few. But I am not uploading them in fear of Photobucket cracking under the pressure of …. uploading photos. And if you don’t don’t like it, Dave’s got something to tell you:

And that was the very first wedding in the Gardiner clan (as in cousins, sisters ‘n’ shit, my parents claim to be married).

To my dear sister Mary,

Thanks for having two hens nights.

I love life! And choosing outfits!

Love, Stephen.