I was devastated when on December 1 I didn’t have an advent calender. Weeks before I had seen the one I wanted to buy in David Jones food hall – a shimmering red Lindt chocolate one. So I refused my mum’s offer to send me the regular ones she buys from the christian bookshop back home.
Yesterday I searched in Target to no avail – does that store actually sell anything of use!? – and then today I went to David Jones and of course they were all sold out.
Everywhere else only had horrible Bratz dolls calenders and I was this close to reluctantly buying one. It just wouldn’t be Christmas if I didn’t get to count down by opening a little door every day.
But, luckily my old friend Darrel Lea had some. They are cheesy, they are great.
The snob half of me (ok, three quarters) was all: “Don’t buy that, Darrel Lea chocolate sticks to the roof of your mouth like I imagine baby poo would, but of course I would never think about eating baby poo because I am your snob three-quarter”
But then another part of me (a quarter, if you will) was all: “This is what Christmas is about. There are some poor people out there who are forced to eat bad chocolate at Christmas because they can’t afford Lindt, you snob, I hope you choke”.
So here they are – stuck to our cupboards with gaffa tape.
Happy December 3 everyone!